Thursday, April 29, 2010

Blah Blah Blah!

Yesterday was an unusual day... It was.. Awkward?... I don't know why though. Maybe because people know that I'm trying to be someone I'm not, but all in all I love the people around me. I don't think they realize how much I miss them or how grateful I am to have them as friends. Something is changing thought something I knew was coming but I didn't it to be anytime soon. We are all taking our separate lives we are no longer equal, we all have out hopes and dreams.... Well some people do. I'm not sure where I'm headed I don't want to take life as it comes too much, I want something to do, somewhere to go. I want all my worries to get on a plane and fuck off out of my life. But no matter how much I wish it won't happen because this isn't a movie this is reality, unfortunately there is no way to escape, no where to go.
So on another note; I;m thinking of leaving school and going to tafe I'm going to apply next week hopefully. i don't want anyone to know because everyone will somehow talk me out of it. I do want to leave school because I'm not getting anything out of it.
I'm getting by a few things as well lately:
- It seems my family is falling apart, they are all turning against each other.
- I have no one to talk to anymore, except you Mr. Blog, thank you for being here for me.
- I'm scared of having a party this year even though I really really want one. I don't want it to epically fail but I don't even know what to do, I can't really just invite friends over just to sit there for a couple hours... can I?

Ehh that's all for now I'm going now.
Thanks for reading if you did let me know if you did and don't forget to follow me for more uninteresting blogs.
Bye for now.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


I feel like I don't belong around here. I'm not wanted. What's the point of getting up in the morning. What's the point in staying here. Why don't I just leave, why? I think I know why I think it's because of the stress everyone will be under or possibly how happy they'll be. But who knows. I'm sick of being a slave. Sick of being used. Sick of feeling left out. Sick of feeling like an outcast. But then again there is other people that have gone/are going through a harder time then me. But I have had a bad life. I have had a life of unwantedness. I've never been a child. I've never been allowed to live like anyone else my age. I've always been a mother figure for all the people around me. I'm the person everyone relies on, the person that makes the decisions on what to have for dinner whether it be half cooked eggs or maybe a couple pieces of mouldy bread. But in the end there is always someone wanting me to get them something. And now you wonder why I get pissed off easliy. Well it's not bloody easy being everyones slave. It's not something I want to o. It's something you all took advantage of. My genorosity to people is now slavery. You feel sorry for the children in third world countries but what about me? How am I any different to them I'm a slave I deserve more appreciation, don'y I?
Ahh fuck it. No point going on noone will care.
Thanks for reading.... I think.